Limits

It's true that I have chronic pain that limits what activities I can do.  However, this morning I woke up thinking about how I've let those limits not just "limit" me, but STOP me from doing things I want/need to be doing.  More specifically, exercise.  The funny/ironic thing about this is that with arthritis, the less active you are, the more pain you feel because your joints don't stay warm and loose.    But but but I have no time!  I have no energy!  Tax season has sucked the life out of me!  I am BARELY surviving each day with working and taking care of the kids and what little housework I can keep up with.  The other major annoying limit is that my pain is the worst in the morning -- which in the past, was my favorite time to exercise.  And now I can't.  Well, at least that's what I've been telling myself.  But this morning, as I hobbled to the bathroom for my morning pee, I said to myself, I'm SICK of being limited!  So, it's time for me to adjust my state of mind.  I have to just accept that morning workouts just aren't going to happen for me...until my body is feeling better.  So I am making a goal to try to do SOMETHING - a short walk, yoga video (if my wrists are OK), bike ride...SOMETHING!  AT least 3 times a week.  I know I can squeeze in 3 things.  Eventually I truly hope to be running again...but my dang feet hurt too much I can't even imagine trying to run right now!  Super annoying and frustrating -- but I need to stop looking at these problems as limits, and instead treat them as obstacles that I can work around and readjust.  

On a happier note, guess what???  4.5 weeks ago when I started the BX, my initial weigh-in was 256.2lbs.  (SCARY!)  Today, my weigh-in is 239.0lbs.  Still high, (in fact it's how much I weighed the day I gave birth to Drew!) but a MAJOR improvement.  Proof that what you eat matters!  I've been sugar-free and vegan this whole time -- and not gluten free, but very very limited gluten.  On saturday I will have reached my 5 week mark, and can slowly start adding very limited amounts of meat back into my diet, as well, as butter and cottage cheese -- but that's it for dairy.  I'm not gonna lie, I've been craving red meat!  So I hope I get a big fat steak for my birthday!  Its not the same as a piece of cheesecake, but it sounds pretty darn good right about now!  Ha ha.  

So, I'm excited to see if my weightloss continues...I can't imagine that it won't, because I have to eat like this until next March.  It's not easy, but I know I can do it.  

Beyond weightloss, and hopefully RA symptoms in remission, the thing I look forward to most is hopefully having another baby.  I never thought I'd be trying to get pregnant at age 40 (next year), and I feel a little crazy about it, but I feel like it's supposed to happen.  

Also, still no noticeable reactions to the BX yet -- so not sure how my body will feel when/if it starts working.  Fingers crossed it isn't too bad.  If you're curious about what I'm talking about, here's a good explanation of what I will probably experience when the bad cells start dying off:

https://www.chronicillnessrecovery.org/?id=161

Happy Hump Day!

1 week in...

Well, I have made it one week into this new lifestyle!

Guess what?  I am surprised and happy to report that I have lost 9 pounds!  Now, this isn't atypical for me, because based on past experiences when my system is shocked and I drastically change my eating habits, I quickly lose 10 or so pounds in the first 2 weeks.  Then it tapers off to about 1-2 lbs per week.  So...I guess I'm on par...  But happy about it nonetheless!

I felt very weak on day 3 of the juice cleanse - partly because i was extremely busy that day and had hardly any time to make myself a juice, but also because I endured a massive root canal, and that was draining in itself.  So, by the evening of day 4 of my pre-cleanse (juice cleanse was days 2,3,4) I was ready to collapse.  Then I began my distilled water fast, which was supposed to be a 10 hour fast, but turned into a 20 hour fast because I was awaiting dosing instructions from my case manager.  I was hoping to hear from him when I woke up, but nothing...then I had to go to work and so I wasn't able to get online until 1:15pm -- and I'd been fasting since 5:30pm the night before.  Needless to say I was a little shaky and blood sugar was low -- I needed food!  I was happy to see that I had dosing instructions when I came home from work, so I administered my first dose of the BX energy catalyst and then had to wait 30 minutes more before I could eat anything.

When I was finally able to eat -- and I was back to SOLID foods -- I could hardly eat because my tooth and jaw were so sore from the root canal the day before!  :(  It took me almost 40 minutes to eat an english muffin (Ezekiel sprouted grain!) with cashew butter and a small banana, with a small glass of almond milk.  But, it felt good to get some food in me, and thankfully my tooth/jaw have improved every day since, making eating a bit easier on me.

This weekend I plan to gather a larger variety of foods, and hopefully do some meal prep for myself.  It's not easy #1, trying to figure out what I CAN eat & #2, preparing food for the rest of the family, and then for myself.  So, if I do some prep ahead of time, I will be much happier!

One more month of tax season and then life will get easier.  I don't like working every day -- it leaves me very little time to take care of what needs to be done at home, and then when I am home and have a few minutes, all I want to do is collapse on my bed!  I don't think Brad has a clue how draining this is for me.  But I don't want to complain because I know it's hard on him too.

Just for my records here is what a typical day is like for me:

5:45am - Wake-up (I move very slowly in the morning so it usually takes me about 20-30 minutes to get going)
6:15am - make sure kids are up and getting ready for school; help with breakfasts, make Aleks's lunch, help him get his backpack ready, etc...
7:15/7:30 - scriptures and prayers
7:45am - get kids to school
8:00am - administer the BX, record vitals (Blood pressure, temperature, PH, weight, O2, etc), record previous day's symptoms, read and respond to any messages on BX website
8:30am - get in the shower to get ready for work
8:50am - grab something to eat
9:00am - 1:00pm -- WORK
1:15pm - eat lunch
1:30pm - pick up Aleks from school
2:15pm - pick up Drew from school
2:30 - help with homework, take to piano lessons or sports practices or cub scouts, etc
5:30/6:30 - make dinner
7:30pm - start getting Aleks and Drew ready for bed & tucked in
8:30-9pm - make sure Jakob and Josh are getting ready for bed, say good-night
9pm - Brad is usually home around this time
9:30/10pm - collapse into bed.  try to catch up on a TV show, fall asleep.

** This of course doesn't include all the many errands I have to run - to the grocery store, post office, doctors appointments, etc.

** also, somewhere in all this I have to fit in tidying up the house and keeping up with laundry.

JUST SHOOT ME NOW!  just kidding.  It's a busy life, but a happy life.  I am not all doom and gloom, I am aware of how blessed we are, and am constantly trying to maintain a grateful heart.  I know that gratitude can help me get through these tough times.

xoxo, Shari

Pre-Cleanse Days 1 & 2

I have officially begun my journey into the BX world...

The way this protocol works is that you first have to complete a 5 day "pre-cleanse" in which you begin adhering to the BX Diet, do a 3 day juice cleanse (smoothies are OK too), and then on the evening of the 4th day, begin a distilled water fast for 10 hours before administering the first dose of the BX energy catalyst on the morning of day 5.  Oh yeah, and you also have to do intestinal cleansing every day too.  I promise not to go into detail about that part.  EW.  Just EW.  This is what I think of every time I hear the word enema: https://youtu.be/jKofnVkUwBA

Anyway...yesterday was hard.  I wasn't prepared and we didn't have much in the house that fell within the parameters of the BX diet.  So, I was HANGRY and just generally pissed at my situation and unfortunately was very moody and not too nice to my family.  BUT, I went shopping last night, and got enough to get me through my 3 day juice cleanse, and that reduced a lot of my stress.

Just as in times past where I've tried to change my eating habits, it's very MENTAL, and I understand this, but it's also EMOTIONAL.  Here are a few reasons why I'm lamenting the loss of sugar and hundreds of other foods from my life...

Food has so many meanings!

It means FAMILY!

It means CELEBRATIONS!

It means TREATS!

It means HOLIDAYS!

It means COMFORT!

It means ENTERTAINMENT!

I kept focusing on LOSING those things...but in reality, I'm not losing any of those things!  They might be altered because I will have to modify the foods -- but I will still get to participate in all of those things, and I know I can still find joy!

Today I woke up feeling more optimistic than I was yesterday...I know it's only day 2, but taking it one day at a time, like everything else in my life, is what keeps me sane.  I know that positive thoughts will become positive words and actions, and so I am trying to see the positives in this situation.  There are many!

1.  I know I will feel better
2.  I will most likely lose weight
3.  There are still a ton of foods on my approved list that I LOVE
4.  This process will help me get healthy so that I can hopefully have another baby
5.  I will learn how to eat healthier and incorporate that into how my family eats, resulting in everyone getting healthier

I also know that there will be many hard days ahead, and that as my body heals and the bad cells die off, I will feel like crap.  BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT.

So, I thought I'd share 2 recipes from what i've eaten today:

Purple Cow

1/2 head of red cabbage, cut into wedges
2 kale leaves
1 red bell pepper, quartered
2 red apples, cut into wedges

Juice the cabbage first, followed by the kale, pepper, and apples.

(This recipe was taken from "The Complete Book of Juicing" by Michael T. Murray)

For lunch I wanted something sweeter -- so I made up a smoothie:

1 cup coconut water
1 medium banana
6 large strawberries, hulled
1/2 cup blueberries
2 kiwi fruit, peeled
1 small avocado
1 cup ice

Blend until smooth and enjoy!