Confession

I've been a wife for 11 years, a mother for 10 years, and a an unorganized hot mess for my ENTIRE LIFE.

There was a time that I was proud of my easy-going housekeeping style...but I think it's finally catching up with me and I am just not happy.

I lack discipline and motivation.  Yet, when I DO take the time to clean and organize, I feel SO MUCH BETTER.  I feel happy.  I feel like I accomplished something.  I feel like I've done something that shows my family how much I love them.

Sometime within the last few weeks, we sang a hymn at church that pierced my soul..and I've repeatedly gone back to the phrases in the first verse for inspiration...

Today, while the sun shines, work with a will;

Today all your duties with patience fulfill.

Today, while the birds sing, harbor no care;

Call life a good gift;  call the world fair.

It's always the small, simple messages that hit me the hardest.  It's like a DUH moment, right when you need it, but in a nice way because it's from the Lord.  

I have been known to complain endlessly about the messes at my house...yet hardly ever DO anything to eliminate said messes -- by eliminate I don't just mean clean or tidy up, I mean TEACH my children how to keep things clean and how to MAINTAIN cleanliness.  

Maintenance is my true weakness.  Lack of maintenance is what makes cleaning so overwhelming.  EVERYTHING is a project... not just a 15-20 minute tidy-up job...  

So, my question friends, is HOW do I learn better habits?  I have been lazy and angry about cleaning for so long that I just avoid it and it's definitely NOT something I am proud of.  

I have over 100 pins on Pinterest in my "Cleaning/organizing" board -- it's pathetic.  I find inspiration and examples of great ideas all over the place - yet can't seem to execute them!

Is there such thing as a cleaning therapist?  I mean, sometimes when I watch Hoarders, I secretly wish that those therapists would come to my house -- even though I am not a hoarder...  

Ultimately my guilt and shame about this comes down to the fact that at my core, I truly believe that one of the biggest acts of love and service I can show my husband and children is by making our home a clean and comfortable place to be...a place that they LOVE to be.  And when I don't LOVE to be in my home, I am betting that they don't either.  

Part of this dilemma stems from the fact that we are perpetual renters.  I daydream about decorating, renovating, and putting my own personal stamp on our home - yet, because I'm renting, I am extremely limited in what I can do.  

I am surrounded by gross flat-paint dirty walls (I have a house full of BOYS - do you think white walls stay clean very long here?  NO!) that I ache to paint, but I don't because "who knows how much longer we'll be here" and "why waste the money on decorating a rental?"   

Am I a total mental case?  Maybe.

Am I the only wife/mom/homemaker out there who struggles with this?  No.

So, I am asking for help - yes, I am SOLICITING your advice, tips, experiences, etc.  I know many of you are great at organizing and keeping your homes running smoothly...  This (and many others!) is an area that I want so badly to change in my life, PERMANENTLY.  

Thanks for listening to my rambling!

Jakob is TEN

My sweet Jakob turned 10 on January 4th!  I love this boy so much!  How did he grow up so fast????

I wanted to share some answers from his VIP Interview that he did for his 4th grade class...

What do you want to be when you grow up?  Scientist

One adjective to describe yourself:  Smart

What are your favorite foods?  Orange Chicken, Pizza, Taquitos, BACON

What is your favorite band?  The Killers

What is your favorite car?  Corvette and Camaro

What is your favorite color?  Scarlet

Who is your role model in life?  Dad

If you had a million dollars what would you do?  Buy a mansion, a paintball gun, guards and a butler.

If you could live anywhere else where would it be and why?  Texas because everything is bigger in Texas!

What is your favorite sport?  Soccer

What is your favorite fruit?  Cherry

What is your favorite movie?  Wreck It Ralph and Hugo

If you could have a day off from school and your parents weren't home, what would you do?  Play DS and computer and have friends over

Jakob's birthday fell on a Saturday this year, and so we started the day off with a yummy breakfast of pancakes, eggs and lots of BACON - his favorite!  Then he opened his cards and presents before we headed off on our adventure for the day.  In true form, Jakob requested that we go and visit the California Science Center for his birthday, which is where the space shuttle Endeavour is on exhibit.  It was a really cool place, and like all museums, you can't see everything in ONE day...there's just too much there!  So I hope we will go again soon...

They have a really cool timeline that spans 3 walls of the exhibit showing each shuttle journey...  It was sobering to see the picture of the crew from the Challenger... I will never forget watching that terrible explosion in my 2nd grade class.  We took pictures next to the launches that were closest to the boys' birthdays... Jakob was sad about the Columbia...  That boy!  He got teary eyed and almost wouldn't let me take this picture.

Drew was happy to oblige...but Josh just wasn't feelin' it... little stinker.

I should have brought a wider angle lens with me...  This is my attempt to stitch together multiple images to get the whole shuttle...  It is ENORMOUS.

The big boys wanted to try the climbing wall...Jakob was super excited!  They had never done this before...

Both Drew and Josh gave a valiant effort...but only made it up part way...

Jakob FLEW up that wall like nobody's business!  I guess we found a new sport for him to try!

I love this picture... You can see his shaved eyebrows, his dimples, his freckle on the palm of his hand, and his quirky personality...

spice it up with a scarf!

Cute video from Stella & Dot -- have fun with your scarves ladies!

Source: youtube.com via Vanessa on Pinterest

Happy Wednesday!

xo, Shari