Limits

It's true that I have chronic pain that limits what activities I can do.  However, this morning I woke up thinking about how I've let those limits not just "limit" me, but STOP me from doing things I want/need to be doing.  More specifically, exercise.  The funny/ironic thing about this is that with arthritis, the less active you are, the more pain you feel because your joints don't stay warm and loose.    But but but I have no time!  I have no energy!  Tax season has sucked the life out of me!  I am BARELY surviving each day with working and taking care of the kids and what little housework I can keep up with.  The other major annoying limit is that my pain is the worst in the morning -- which in the past, was my favorite time to exercise.  And now I can't.  Well, at least that's what I've been telling myself.  But this morning, as I hobbled to the bathroom for my morning pee, I said to myself, I'm SICK of being limited!  So, it's time for me to adjust my state of mind.  I have to just accept that morning workouts just aren't going to happen for me...until my body is feeling better.  So I am making a goal to try to do SOMETHING - a short walk, yoga video (if my wrists are OK), bike ride...SOMETHING!  AT least 3 times a week.  I know I can squeeze in 3 things.  Eventually I truly hope to be running again...but my dang feet hurt too much I can't even imagine trying to run right now!  Super annoying and frustrating -- but I need to stop looking at these problems as limits, and instead treat them as obstacles that I can work around and readjust.  

On a happier note, guess what???  4.5 weeks ago when I started the BX, my initial weigh-in was 256.2lbs.  (SCARY!)  Today, my weigh-in is 239.0lbs.  Still high, (in fact it's how much I weighed the day I gave birth to Drew!) but a MAJOR improvement.  Proof that what you eat matters!  I've been sugar-free and vegan this whole time -- and not gluten free, but very very limited gluten.  On saturday I will have reached my 5 week mark, and can slowly start adding very limited amounts of meat back into my diet, as well, as butter and cottage cheese -- but that's it for dairy.  I'm not gonna lie, I've been craving red meat!  So I hope I get a big fat steak for my birthday!  Its not the same as a piece of cheesecake, but it sounds pretty darn good right about now!  Ha ha.  

So, I'm excited to see if my weightloss continues...I can't imagine that it won't, because I have to eat like this until next March.  It's not easy, but I know I can do it.  

Beyond weightloss, and hopefully RA symptoms in remission, the thing I look forward to most is hopefully having another baby.  I never thought I'd be trying to get pregnant at age 40 (next year), and I feel a little crazy about it, but I feel like it's supposed to happen.  

Also, still no noticeable reactions to the BX yet -- so not sure how my body will feel when/if it starts working.  Fingers crossed it isn't too bad.  If you're curious about what I'm talking about, here's a good explanation of what I will probably experience when the bad cells start dying off:

https://www.chronicillnessrecovery.org/?id=161

Happy Hump Day!