When my sister Heather (and family) were visiting, she had a little talk with Jakob about being KIND, HELPFUL and OBEDIENT to his mama aka ME. :) She is such a good mom and I admire the way she parents her children...so I appreciate her helping me out with my wascaly wabbits. :)
I have been able to remind Jakob to be K, H, and O on several occasions, and he immediately remembers his talk with Aunt Heather...and MOSTLY cooperates. :) I have been struggling with how to teach my children to be inherently K, H and O.
It seems like a constant battle and I sometimes feel like I have monkeys and not children running/climbing/hollering around my house...and that we MUST be speaking a different language and that is why they don't understand me and look at me like I am annoying them when I ask them to do something. Like, how DARE I ask them to clear their dishes off the table? How DARE I ask them to stop yelling and hitting each other? How DARE I ask them to stay in their seat until they are done eating? How DARE I ask them 1,000 times to put their shoes/toys/etc. away?
And they are only 7, 5 and 2. Seriously? You'd think they were teenagers sometimes. Sheesh!
I am working on it, and trying hard to be pleasant but firm with my parenting, but most of the time I end up yelling my head off and feel like I'm going to explode because I am so flabbergasted and exhausted by repeating myself 10 billion and 2 times a day. I find comfort in knowing I'm not the only parent who has felt this way...and I am asking for your advice and tips on things that have worked with you?
I love that my "Family Gems" and my "Daily Gems" seem to be paired so well...
Here's the Family Gem:
A Parent's Role Is to Entice Children to Obedient Actions
"Giving a man a fish feeds him for one meal. Teaching a man to fish feeds him for a lifetime. As parents and gospel instructors, you and I are not in the business of distributing fish; rather, our work is to help our children learn 'to fish' and to become spiritually steadfast." David A. Bednar, "Watching with All Perserverance," Ensign, May 2010, 42–43
and the Daily Gem:
With a Sincere Heart and Real Intent
“To access information from heaven, one must first have a firm faith and a deep desire. One needs to ‘ask with a sincere heart [and] real intent, having faith in [Jesus] Christ’ (Moroni 10:4). ‘Real intent’ means that one really intends to follow the divine direction given.” Russell M. Nelson, “Ask, Seek, Knock,” Ensign, Nov. 2009, 81
So I guess I need to spend some more time on my knees... :)
7 comments:
You are certainly not the only parent who feels frustrated. Some of the time my boys are very kind, helpful and obedient. Sometimes they are definitely not and it is absolutely exasperating.
Generally speaking I think "Love and Logic" makes parenting much easier, but good parenting is still a constant challenge.
I agree wholeheartedly that prayer makes a world of difference, especially when I'm really specific (i.e. please help me to know what to do to help my son be a better sport when he loses, etc.) I have gotten many ideas on what to try after praying for inspiration.
Good luck! I'm definitely going to check back and see if I can get some advice as well.
Guess I need to get on my knees more too. Boy I can I relate!
Good to hear I'm not the only one with kids that have a hard time listening : ). Love the quotes and a good reminder for me to ask for help.
What a perfectly timed post! Dane has been more than a handful lately, and I've been at my whits end. I know prayer can and does help, it's just hard to think of that when you're about ready to pull your hair out!
There are a couple of things that come to mind. One is that your example will be the best. That doesn't help now, but over time, they will see the way you are kind helpful and obedient in your life and it will stick. Being positive and catching them when they are good is excellent too. The other thing is the consequences thing. What is a good motivator for your 7 and 5 year old? I struggled for awhile, but finally figured out that if i required what had to be done before any fun, it got done. This summer, piano, reading and a clean room where the requirements for my girls to be free for the day. Having reasonable expectations and then consequences helps. I have tons of ideas that I can't type here. Call me if you want to. My girls have just moved through the stage your in, so maybe I can share what I did with them. Hang in there!
Today my kids started repeating my latest exasperation rant, said with great shock and desperation, "Come on!" (Usually said after someone spills their cup for the third time at the table.)
I feel like the one thing I am doing right is teaching my kids to do chores. They have to do two to play on the computer and four to watch a movie or tv. I stick to my guns and they are pretty good about it.
The rest of it...my hair gets thinner by the day! I'm counting down the days until school starts again...9...
Sunday and yesterday were so hard and our kids utterly humiliated me more times than I could count. Just horrible behavior- and in public no less! I realized that I think part of the problem has been not enough sleep. We started back on school sleep schedule this week and I think it's already helping. August is always hard for me and that means the kids AND I start having trouble being kind. I've been reading president Monson's talk about anger almost everyday. I love the reminder that it is MY CHOICE to get angry. When I'm yelling a lot, I know I need to read that talk again :) I liked the comment about setting a good example. Good luck! I've been struggling with this too!
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