irony

I just did the new member orientation yesterday for the protocol I'm going to start next week to treat Lyme and Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Holy moly!  I am overwhelmed.

The diet is the most important part of this protocol (with the exception of the bx catalyst) and I am freaking out!

My first reaction to learning about the diet was one of resistance and sadness.

NO SUGAR FOR AT LEAST A YEAR?

NO DAIRY or MEAT for the first 5 WEEKS?

UM.  UMM.  UMMMM.

Sounds impossible to me.

Oh yeah, and not to mention the "pre-cleanse" requires that I do intestinal cleansing 5 days in a row, including AT LEAST one enema.

YIPPY!

During that time I have to do a 3 day juice cleanse.

Then a distilled water fast.

Seriously?  What the heck did I sign myself up for????

TORTURE.  It sounds like TORTURE to me!  No joke.

Every part of me is like, RUN, RUN AWAY!

Every part of me that is, except that teeny, tiny voice in the back of my mind that's saying, "This will SAVE you."

I'm not "dying" from Lyme.

I'm not "dying" from Rheumatoid Arthritis.

I AM "dying" from eating crap all the time though.

I am not taking care of my body in the way that it so desperately needs to be taken care of.

I've tried "eating right" and "exercising" and "tracking my food" and "etc, etc.." and it WORKED.  But it didn't last long.  I gave up.  I retreated back to my "comfort zone" of laziness and junk food.

Why?  Why is it so difficult to take care of myself?

I'll tell you why.  Because I truly have an addiction to FOOD, and more specifically, to SUGAR.

I am 100% convinced of this.

So, in an ironic turn of events, I am diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, and then with Lyme Disease.

Then I am given the amazing opportunity to participate in a special treatment program that will not only help with Lyme, but also with RA!

AND...AND...AND...my sugar addiction.

You see, the bx catalyst cannot do its job if I'm eating crap.

So, if I want the bx to work, then I need to follow the diet explicitly.

I've never done anything like this before - with so much on the line - and it's ironic to me that I had to get RA and Lyme in order to finally kick my sugar habit.

I think I am more excited about that than anything else at this point.  If I can get my body healthy (minus the RA and the Lyme) then I KNOW I will start to feel better.

I'm trying to be positive and optimistic - I don't want to waste energy on worrying and being sad that I won't get to drink a coke or eat ice cream ever again.  (well, maybe not NEVER, but at least for the next year!)

Im looking forward to being FREE of the hold that sugar has on me.

It's going to be hard, and it's going to suck sometimes, but I have to do it.

I hope I can.